Growing up, Cole fell in love with female pop singers-Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey-and spent every afternoon memorizing their dance moves. A few months after her divorce was final, Ruth married a man named Dave and, in 1987, moved her family to a semi-detached house in Brampton, where she had a daughter, Shannon, when Jason was seven. Cole’s parents, Rick, a contractor, and Ruth, a welder, divorced when Jason was two. Life was tumultuous from the start for Jason Cole, who was born in 1982 to a conservative family in Scarborough. Jason Cole at age nine (third from left), pictured with sister Shannon (far left), and cousins Shane and Brittany at Grade 8 graduation (Images: courtesy of Jason Cole) It turned out to be a release not just from the binds of gender, but from identity itself. Out of that chaos, a dynamic new selfhood emerged: neither male nor female. Cole tried to cope with alcohol and drugs, with BDSM, with a transition to womanhood and a reversal back. None have permeated the mainstream, which makes writing about the subject challenging (I’ve chosen to sidestep pronouns entirely).įor years, Cole desperately sought an in-between space, a way to live outside the binaries of man and woman, gay and straight. Dozens of other options exist, including “ze” (which rhymes with “he”), “hu” (a shortened version of “human”) and “*E” (the asterisk is silent, like the symbol for Prince). The most common choice is the singular “they” (this is also Cole’s preference), but it makes for confounding prose. The English language hasn’t caught up with the genderqueer movement-there’s no consensus on which pronouns to use. Many take hormone treatments or undergo plastic surgery to shape their bodies in a way that reflects their self-image. Others express neither, taking on a neutral, androgynous identity. Even young celebrities-Miley Cyrus, Ruby Rose-identify as gender fluid.įor some people, being genderqueer means embodying qualities that are both masculine and feminine. In Australia, people can list their sex as male, female or X. “The fight against gender oppression,” wrote its editor, Riki Anne Wilchins, “is about all of us who are genderqueer…those of us whose gender expressions are so complex they haven’t even been named yet.” Twenty years later, rigid gender boundaries are dissolving, and the so-called genderqueer movement is inching into the mainstream: non-binary people are protected legally in Ontario under human rights legislation, and most queer community groups recognize them. The term first appeared in 1995 in the radical queer newsletter In Your Face. Even Cole’s voice is a gender bender, zigzagging between a flowery Valley girl purr and a no-bullshit roar.Ĭole identifies as genderqueer, a term for people who see themselves not as male or female, but as somewhere in between. Standing at five feet, 11 inches, Cole is comfortable showing off a thick beard while wearing a flowing gown, or donning tights with a biker jacket. “I flip back and forth, masculine to feminine,” Cole says, with a dramatic wave of the hand. A leather mankini from Toronto’s World Pride is stowed away, along with flannel button-downs and a “Boys Club” tee. There are kimonos, glittery belts and sheer tights. Inside are tie-dyed rainbow jeggings, leather short shorts, T-shirt dresses and yoga pants. Every morning, Cole, a 33-year-old school administrator, reaches into the Tickle Trunk, searching for a new outfit. Dressup who keeps an entire wardrobe of flamboyant outfits in a single suitcase.
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